Misery Shunned
by Purple-Pebbles
Summary: She wasn't who they thought she was,it was all a lie.She is tired of lying of acting and pretending,a special day triggers her memories and will crumble it all and have her fight against those walls that kept her captured.Finally they will know who she ws


**A/N : Okay so this is a one-shot and I really don't think I will continue it even if people asked me too, it as just an idea I had in my head. Now grammar and spelling .. I know I have them so don't bother pointing them out I just couldn't be bothered to correct and correct and correct. If someone has a problem with it feel free to contact me and tell me that you would like to correct it and I will change this one fore the corrected one and give you full credit.**

**Rating : M .. it's for a reason so please just abade by it and I have worned you.**

**Disclaimer : I owe nothing but the idea, 'nuf said.**

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><p><em><strong>Misery shunned<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>My Name is Hayden damn it!<strong>_

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><p><em>Have you ever felt lost? Tried to hind behind a mask .. behind something you are not? Did you ever feel like the walls you build around you were suffocating you , damaging you? I know that I have .. lost my way that is. I hate not being myself , not being able to show the people who I really am. They think that I am not like the rest of them. That I got lucky and wasn't wrapped up in society like they were. How wrong they were , they didn't now that I was trapped in the center of it all. Didn't know that I am the epiphany of society. Didn't know that I was Lorelai-Leigh Hayden.<em>

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><p><strong>Chapter Number 1 : Had enough<strong>

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><p>She was once again trying to open her locker, which was being very stubborn she might add. Stupid thing wouldn't open! Putting down her bag she rolled up her sleeves not noticing the attention she was gathering. Loosing her cool for the first time since she started Chilton last year, within her right too because today was not a good day, no today wasn't a good day at all. In fact it's the day that marks the second death year of my father's death.<p>

"Listen here you fuckin inanimate poor excuse of an object! I have treated you nicely since I got you, cleaned you and kept you tidy and made you smell nice, so now when I hit you, you will open up or by all that fucking liquor and fosters in the world you will be dented so bad that the door will be have to changed and I will not hesitate, it is time I got my American black express card out anyway. So on the count of three. One … two .. three" She spinned my combination and yanked at the door and to her surprise it opened. She whooped and kissed the door "That's right, there you go was that so hard?"

She didn't bother looking around her, she was to occupied ,if she did she would have seen the stunned, disbelieving Chiltonies looking at her, well more like gapping like a fish stuck on land with a tutu on. She pulled out her books and all at once stuffed them in the locker 'punishing it' again not noticing her half-way empty packet of smokes falling out of her messenger bag. She did however notice when she stepped on them. "Shit" cursing she picked up the now torn packet but seeing that the cigs were whole she stuffed them back into her bag. Not even half way through the day, and she just knew that it is going to be shit. Slamming the door shut after stuffing her blazer in there , she loosened her tie , that she opted on wearing and pulled out her shirt, pulling out the ribbon that was holding her hair into a tight ponytail.

Fuck Chilton and everyone in it, she didn't care ! Today was her day to mope and to be Lori again and not Rory. Dragging her hand through her hair she hosed her bag on her left shoulder leaving it dangling while walking too her next class looking down at the floor glaring at it, challenging it to open up and just swallow her. She was in a bad mood, a very bad mood and couldn't help it. She didn't care about what the others were going to say, didn't care for the gossip that was going to spread. It was one day and it was hers.

Going in to her American lit class she turned the chair that was assigned to her and straddled it , not caring that her skirt was hiking up. She dropped the bag the same time her head dropped on the desk. She was hungover, well slightly drunk seeing as she drank the night away. Her mother insisted she go to school not noticing the state in which her daughter was in. Over the years she learned how to control herself and how she could fool people into believing she was sober and she god damn hoped she still had it in her. She heard the rest of the class filing in, whispering and gasping and then she heard the inevitable voice. Well one of two.

"What the hell Gilmore." She winced at the name and at the speaker's laud voice. "What is wrong with you, didn't you sleep or something? You know this is a school, we come here to learn and not to sleep. You can't go slacking off on me! YOU challenge me Gilmore so you better get your act together or believe me I will make you life He-" having heard enough she snapped her head up, eyes blazing and face flushed in anger.

"Would you shut the fuck up already! Are you seriously this bloody blind that you cannot see that I am not in the mood for your bullshit today? I'm human Geller not a fuckin robot. So again shut up ,sit down and wait for Mr Rolling then take notes like the fucking good student you are and stay out of my business," with one final glare she plopped my head back down on the table.

The class was silent. You could here a pin dropping all holding in there breath and all asking the same thing 'What the Hell happened to Mary?' But the silence didn't last for long, few seconds later Mr Rolling came in and all scurried to there places, but not without glancing at her as often as they could.

"Miss Gilmore what are you doing?" What a stupid question.

"What do you think I am doing? I am resting my head on the table" she snapped back and immediately wincing and regretting having done so as it made my head throb even more painfully. Every one blinked. No one talked to a teacher like that, least of all Mary.

"Miss Gilmore I will not have this behaver in my class, and where is your full uniform?" What is it with everyone calling her Gilmore today?

"Decided to make a fashion statement that the school's uniform sucks and has no personality in it," shrugging she plopped her chin on her open palm. "I mean really, who designed these cloths?" Mr Rolling's face was twisting into some amusing faces when he exploded.

"Miss Gilmore out of my class. NOW!" She smirked. Really thats all he was gonna do? Send her out of class? Pathetic.

"Wow thank you how very generous of you, I will be taking a stroll through the school grounds then" She stood up, smoothed down her skirt and picked up her bag, but before she left out she went and looked him into his eyes letting the words hit the hostility and venom in them. "And my name is not Gilmore" by the way his eyes grew he understood and obviously smelled the alcohol on her breath. The faculty knew who she really was. His eyes softened a bit probably realizing why she was acting the way she was.

"Miss Gi- Lorelai I think it would be best to go to the provost maybe your mother will pick you up" She snorted and straightened her back, holding up the walls even stronger.

"I see that one happening" with that she turned around and stormed out of the class room making her way to the bleachers, not caring about the wide eyes and whispers or the pair of blue eyes watching her every step intensely.

It was cold outside and it was raining a bit , nothing that would bother you much. Sitting down she pulled out her scotch flask and her smokes. Lighting up one, inhaling, then gulping down half of the flask at once. She didn't know why she turned up today. She knew that it was going to be a disaster and she knew that she wasn't that good at controlling her self any more. Yesterday was the first day in over a year that she had touched any alcohol after rehab. She couldn't stop herself, last year she was surrounded by her friends who didn't let her drink, kept her going and helped her through the day, but today she was alone, like every other fuckin' day. Chuckling darkly she took another gulp, while inhaling the last of her cig.

She was shacking, she hadn't even noticed that the rain had picked up or that she was crying. It all just blended in. She wanted to scream and punch something, wanted to jump of the highest town and do it all over again when she landed. Dragging her hands through her now dripping hair, she bit her lip to keep from screaming and scraped her blunt nails over the back of her neck, trying to ease the tension. She don't know how long she had been up here nor if anyone was looking for her. All her thoughts were a mess. She want my dad back, he would know what to do. He always knew what to do. Grabbing the flask she took another swing. She pulled her legs up to her chest. It was then she noticed that she was sobbing and gasping for air. She don't know how long she sat there, when she felt someone wrap there blazer around her and pull her to him while he rocked her and comforted her. She knew instantly that it was Tristan DuGrey by her side, and she knew instantly that she could do nothing but fall into his chest and cry till she had no more tears.

She stopped sobbing after a while, silent tears still streaming down her cheeks and neck while she held on to Tristan tightly.

"It's going to be okay Mare, whatever it is, it's going to be okay." How much she wished she could believe him, how many times she wished that those words were true, but it has been two years and it had yet to become less painful.

"It's not, it will never be okay again." She closed her eyes leaning into him, letting him cradle her. "My daddy is gone and he won't come back Tristan. My daddy is gone." With that she passed out leaving a concerned pair of blue eyes in the world of the living.

She woke up hours later not knowing were she was at first, thinking that it all had been just a dream but then she recognized the walls that surrounding her and felt her chest tighten. She was in her room at home and for the life of her didn't know how she got there. It was dark outside indicating that she had been out for a very long time. She started crying once more, for her life, for her father and for herself.

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><p><em>Tired. Thats how I felt, so tired of hiding who I really am, who I always was.<em>

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><p>After waking up once again from another nightmare she decided to drop the show. It was time to whip out her uniform and alter it. It was time for her to pull out her Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren from the garage. It was time for Lorelai-Leigh Gilmore-Hayden to come back. Thinking something was missing she went to her music player and hit play. It's My Life by Bon Jovi blasted through the silent night, Perfect.<p>

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted  
>No silent prayer for the faith-departed<br>I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd  
>You're gonna hear my voice<br>When I shout it out loud

It's my life  
>It's now or never<br>I ain't gonna live forever  
>I just want to live while I'm alive<br>(It's my life)  
>My heart is like an open highway<br>Like Frankie said  
>I did it my way<br>I just wanna live while I'm alive  
>It's my life<p>

This is for the ones who stood their ground  
>For Tommy and Gina who never backed down<br>Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake  
>Luck ain't even lucky<br>Got to make your own breaks

It's my life  
>And it's now or never<br>I ain't gonna live forever  
>I just want to live while I'm alive<br>(It's my life)  
>My heart is like an open highway<br>Like Frankie said  
>I did it my way<br>I just want to live while I'm alive  
>'Cause it's my life<p>

Better stand tall when they're calling you out  
>Don't bend, don't break, hell, don't back down<p>

It's my life  
>And it's now or never<br>'Cause I ain't gonna live forever  
>I just want to live while I'm alive<br>(It's my life)  
>My heart is like an open highway<br>Like Frankie said  
>I did it my way<br>I just want to live while I'm alive

It's my life  
>And it's now or never<br>'Cause I ain't gonna live forever  
>I just want to live while I'm alive<br>(It's my life)  
>My heart is like an open highway<br>Like Frankie said  
>I did it my way<br>I just want to live while I'm alive  
>'Cause it's my life<p>

She sang along on top of her lungs not caring that every one in Stars Hollow could hear her because she felt closer to free than she had in the past year. The lyrics inspired her and made her even more determined then she was before. Because it was her life and no one else's. Hers alone.

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><p><strong>Page brake- New Chapter : She is Back<strong>

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><p>'I Love Rock N' Roll<br>By Joan Jett and The Blackhearts'

_I saw him dancin' there by the record machine  
>I knew he must a been about seventeen<br>The beat was goin' strong  
>Playin' my favorite song<br>An' I could tell it wouldn't be long  
>Till he was with me, yeah me<br>And I could tell it wouldn't be long  
>Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'<em>

I love rock n' roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock n' roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with me<p>

Ow!

He smiled so I got up and asked for his name  
>That don't matter, he said,<br>'Cause it's all the same

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

An' next we were movin' on  
>He was with me, yeah me<p>

Next we were movin' on  
>He was with me, yeah me, singin'<p>

I love rock n' roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock n' roll  
>So come an' take your time an' dance with me<p>

Ow!

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

Next we were movin' on  
>He was with me, yeah me,<br>An we'll be movin' on  
>An' singin' that same old song<br>Yeah with me, singin'

I love rock n' roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock n' roll  
>So come an' take your time an' dance with me<p>

I love rock n' roll

_So put another dime in the jukebox, baby  
>I love rock n' roll<br>So come an' take your time an' dance with_

I love rock n' roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock n' roll  
>So come an' take your time an' dance with<p>

I love rock n' roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock n' roll  
>So come an' take your time an' dance with<p>

I love rock n' roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock n' roll  
>So come an' take your time an' dance with me<p>

_-GG-GG-GG_

With the song blasting through her car Lorelai-Leigh Gilmore Hayden turned into the parking area of Chilton, with speed and accuracy. How she missed driving her cars, they used to be the air she breathed, it's like she was being revived. Breathing in the strong leather sent of the seats while she felt the slow rumple of the engine, it was purring like a now sedated cat who had longed for it's owner's touch. Putting on her sunglasses and rumpling her hair she opened the car door. Stepping out and smoothed her skirt a bit and slung her blazer and bag over her shoulders. Her shirt was short enough for people to see my mid drift when she moved, the skirt coming to mid thigh showing her endless toned legs and decided that her sweater vest was not worthy of her time. The tie she opted on wearing hung loose In place of the now unbuttoned shirt between her exposed cleavage. Her hair was in a sexy mess and my blue eyes were brought out by my black eye liner and gray eye shadow with red plump lips.

The whole student body of Chilton was stunned. Who was this new student? Where did she come from? The male were left gapping and hard while the female were left envious and angry. Who was she to step into there turf? But at the back of their mind they new it was their Mary, they new that after yesterday change was going to come their way.

She made her way through the crowd watching her sway her hip sensually, enticing all male with her Blazer thrown over her shoulder. She knew that there was going to be gossip, it was painfully obvious by how they were already whispering and pointing. No one stopped her, no one dared approach her. The air of superiority and confidence was to tick to penetrate. The way she held held herself said that she was high up the Social Lather, maybe too high for them.

Her locker came into view and was surprised to see that no one was leaning against it and for a split second she remembered the clear blue ayes that were staring at her yesterday, filled with concern, it was the last thing she remembered before passing out. She then remembered that she had come a bit earlier , well more like she drove very, very fast. Spinning the combination, she tugged on her locker but it unsurprisingly didn't open. Not wanting to deal with this she hit it and tugged again making it open nicely. Perfect. Dumping all her books in there and taking out her American lit text book out she slammed the door shut ignoring the gapping faces when she slid up her sun glasses. Picking up the bag she dropped before, she hoisted it on her left shoulder and started making her way to get coffee. But was stopped when someone called for her. She saw Paris coming her way and decided it best to lean against her locker and listen to what she had to say then leave.

"Gilmore?" Yelled Paris eyes wide, with Luise and Madeline on either side of her, jaws hitting the floor.

"Good Morning Geller, did you need something?" Her tone was bored and clipped. Her Society mask was up. This was not something that she missed but if she wanted to get along with the other people in this world you had to be guarded.

"What the hell happened to you Gilmore? Hit you head too hard? Lost a bet? And what was that show yesterday?" No I woke up, I wanted to say but bit my tongue.

"No Geller I decided that playing naïve and innocent was getting me no were, it was a fucked up game. Who will buy the act longest. And here I am now giving up on anyone ever finding out. It refreshing being me again. So much better now that I can actually booty call Logan again, might skip my last two classes." It was a lie, well sort of. She was playing a game but at the same time it was shielding her. "Yes, Geller I am no different than the rest of you, this small town act was a game, a break from people like me. It gets tiering looking at anyone just to see a mirror image. Its depressing," pulling out her phone she started dialing a number. "Now if you will excuse me I have a very important call to make," she smirked her Hayden smirk and winked. "I'll see you in class if I make it" and with that she sauntered away, sending call. After a few rings there was an answer.

" Hunzburger here" she smiled and chuckled.

"Still answering your phone I see" there was a gasp on the other line and it sounded like someone was chocking to.

"Ace? That you ?"

"Ya it is, surprised?" She mocked him grabbing her coffee, paying and sitting down on an empty table.

"Surprised doesn't cover it! Were are you?" he sounded eager and it made her roll her eyes.

"I'm at school Mac but I was thinking about cutting my last two classes" he whooped.

"Does that mean that your dropping this Mary act and be yourself again?" She laughed loudly earning herself a few glances, not that they weren't looking anyway.

"Already dropped , I don't know what I was thinking!"

"You were thinking that you wanted to stay out of the newspapers and t.v for a while, and let me tell you it's been enough time. So Hayden is back with us now ?"

"Ya she's back and wanting to meet you. Get the limo to drop you off here , were taking my car then"

"Ohh your car is out , that means your serious"

"As a heart attack" she mocked but couldn't help but smile. she hadn't talked to him in over four months. The bell rang and she felt dread, knowing that today wasn't not going to be easy.

"Okay I'll see you then Ace. I missed you and I'm glad your back"  
>"Right back atcha Mac darlin'"<p>

"Go to class I heard the bell ring" damn him and his good hearing.

"Okay! Okay ! I'm going , see you later" and with that the line went dead.

Her way to class was exasperating to say the least. Everyone was looking at her and did not even try to hide it. What is wrong with these people?

GG-GG-GG

For all that he was worth, for all his cocky tunes ,the playboy facade he was truly naïve. He watched her move watched her talk and watched her interact with the few people she did. Rory Gilmore had played them so throughly that it was laughably pathetic. How could he not have seen this? How could he not have noticed the mask she put on like the rest of them, but yet just so different? Rory Gilmore was no Mary. Rory Gilmore was no small town girl. Rory Gilmore is definitely not naïve and innocent.

It was spoken loud and clearly in the way she held herself. At first you see a meek hunched form but then you see that her back was arced defensively and it visibly straightened when she was defending herself. The tone in which she spoke. It was a lazy drawl with a sarcastic undertone with quips that formed her knowledge and personality. Her blazing blue eyes so cold you would think you could see fire burning. The air around her shies you away. You think it's innocence turning you away by it's blinding purity, in realty? It's the air of mastered sophistication, power, confidence and maturity molded to perfection. Rory Gilmore was a Queen. Nothing more and nothing less.

How could they all have been fooled? How had no one noticed this? Who was Rory Gilmore really?

He was going to find out if it was the last thing he did and he would have the Queen to his deserved King.

He watched as she leaned against her locker with perfect precision. Her stance was elegant yet she was relaxed in her skin. Eased perfection. Her skirt was taunting her legs and it brushed up when she leaned her leg against the rack of lockers looking bored at what Paris had to say. Her hair came down her back in waves so delicately soft it was painful. What he was not ready for was him feel sheer arousal when she bit her bottom lip and arced her way from the lockers, giving you and image of what it would like if she were under you.

She wasn't hiding it anymore. She didn't try to act like she didn't belong. The way she flicked her small wrist in annoyance while she was talking to Paris showed that she was exhausted with hiding who she was. Today was her awakening. Society had her Queen back and she looked it. No longer the overly long skirts that made you cock your eyebrows in interest, instead it was short enough to make you want to reveal whats under it. Her loose shirts replaced by snugly fit ones that showed you some of her creamy, soft skin when she moved. The usual collar thing the ladies wore was replaced by a loose tie hanging between her breast. The Blazer lost over her shoulders. She was perfection in human form. Perfection that had just walked past him flipping open her phone.

It took all his will power not to go after her and claim her as his. It took all his powers to keep up his walls he had mastered over the years, but they seemed so thin compared to hers.

In the end he would have her, he would get his Queen and his walls will fall completle as will hers. In the end all will good.

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><p><strong>So waddya think? If you feel like telling me just leave a review :)<strong>


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